Ren's Lesson
by interdimensionalmeatpie
Summary: Jaune's got a crush on Pyrrha, and Ren's willing to help...after he's rudely awakened. Nora gets her pancakes as well. Hilarity ensues. Jaune & Pyrrha/Arkos.


Ren's Lesson

 _Based on mete-g's "Ren's 'How to Girls' School" comic (check out his blog on Tumblr). All credit goes to him and his wonderful comics._

 _I took this more from the point of view of Nora and Ren…and I may have taken some creative liberties, but I tried my best to preserve the spirit and essence of the comic and RWBY. Isn't that the essence of fanfic anyway? I do not own RWBY. Thank you Monty. This one's for you._

* * *

For Ren, it had been a long day. Between his morning classes, training for the Vytal Festival, and Nora's insistence that they catch the new sloth documentary on BeaconNet (and also that he wear her new sloth hat, of custom design), he was definitely worn out. Ren didn't even bother to change out of his clothes; he just flopped straight down onto his bed and closed his eyes, his legs hanging haphazardly off the side.

Something poked him in the shoulder.

"Mmph."

Emboldened by his grunt, that something poked again, more insistently this time. When Ren failed to respond this time, something growled in frustration, and suddenly he awoke with a yelp as half of his bed was smashed into oblivion with a very large, pink war hammer.

"Nora, I told you before, smashing the end of the bed I'm not lying on won't launch me out of it like a catapult", he grumbled as the orange haired, extremely bubbly girl standing over the wreckage smiled apologetically.

"Oh but I just had to try it!" Nora pouted, "It was all for science…and kinda to get you to wake up sooner…lazy butt…"

"What, did they release 'Sloth Wars VII' finally? Or don't tell me; you brought the guy who's repairing my bed. And the floor under the bed. Again." Smiling wryly, he stood up, brushing dust and still-flaming bits of bed off of him ("Seriously? How is it that it's on fire?" he wondered.)

"Oh I'll fix it later. Demanding, demanding, always stifling the advances of science. Hmph." She laid the hammer aside and began stamping out the burning bits of bed, still smiling somewhat psychotically.

"Just like you fixed Jaune's chair. Right."

"Hey, it's not my fault the duct tape I used was flammable!"

"Wait, what did you do to my chair?"

A tall, blonde boy sitting on the aforementioned chair leapt off of it, his face a mixture of panic and surprise.

Ren opened his mouth to speak, but Nora jumped in front of him.

"Jaune, he's awake now! Didn't you want to consult his infinite wisdom and skill? And no I didn't say anything about a chair… Ha.. Ha ha ha."

Looking unnerved and extremely unconvinced, Jaune pushed the chair into the corner of the room gingerly, and hastily scurried to the other side of the room.

"Right… Now that I've improved my life expectancy by twenty years, and now that Ren is awake-"

"Involuntarily," huffed Ren.

"-I…. I kinda have something to say to you…"

"Is it Cardin again?"

"Is it finally time to break his legs!?" Nora squealed with delight.

"Nora!"

Despite the objections of her teammates, Nora still bore an eager grin from ear to ear.

"Or is this about…" She mouthed the last word- "…Pyrrha?"

"Yeah… Kinda…. I have a little problem with her…" Jaune looked down at the ground, suddenly finding the bit of carpet by his shoe to be particularly captivating. "I'm still in the dark as to what I'm gonna say to her… She's just perfect and I'm well… just me… And I want her to know through everything that's happened, she's become such a close friend, and maybe… more." His words trailed off.

"Didn't you already talk to her about it the week after the dance?" Ren quipped, confused. "We helped you out with what to say and-"

"Ren, I literally stood there with my mouth open for like a minute while she worried she had hit me too hard during practice. I failed harder than Yang trying to make puns. Not that I'm blaming you, I'm not, but I-"

"Just haven't had enough practice? I can see that, we did have that Grimm invasion and Dr. Oobleck's Dust project… And not to mention trying to fix the gigantic hole in the wall that Nora-"

"Ren, how else was I going to get the industrial sized pancake mixer into the room?" Nora looked scandalized.

Ren simply stared at her for a solid thirty seconds before shaking his head slowly and turning back to Jaune.

"As I said, no one can blame you for lack of practice due to circumstances. Jaune, we're happy to help you again. But Nora?"

"Yes Ren?" She looked up at him, diverting her attention from the cereal box she had just picked up.

"We're helping Jaune out but I'm sorry, you can't play the part of Pyrrha again. Not after what you did to Jaune's-"

Jaune gulped.

"Right."

"You're boring!" Nora chucked the box of cereal at Ren's head playfully, scattering marshmallow bits and flakes across the room. With a swiftness that belied his normally calm nature, Ren reached out and snatched the box from midair. Unfortunately for Jaune, the catch came too late. Bits of supersonic cereal pelted him, causing him to duck and exclaim in protest while Nora screamed with laughter.

"Oops!" Nora pointed a mock accusing finger at Ren. "He did it!"

Sparing an amused glance at his teammate, Ren looked down at the cereal box he had caught. A girl with flaming red hair, vibrant green eyes, and a face bright with friendliness smiled up at him from the picture on the box. This was Pyrrha Nikos, one of Beacon's brightest student, their teammate, the fourth member of their team, and here, a mascot for Pumpkin Pete's Marshmallow Flakes: a position reserved for Remnant's most prestigious celebrities. It was clear that Pyrrha, despite her legendary status as a fighter, was definitely different from famous people like Spruce Willis or Beacon's own Peter Port.

The face that smiled up at Ren bore no trace of the cockiness seen in so many public figures. Rather, hers was a one of genuine friendliness, a "hello world!" kind of congeniality. True to her smile, Pyrrha Nikos never hesitated to help those in need at Beacon, especially Jaune. The young huntsman-in-training had improved in leaps and bounds during training sessions with her. She had been his crutch and confidant; he had gladly done the same back for her. Team JNPR was very lucky to have Pyrrha as a teammate and friend.

It was no wonder Jaune had fallen for the girl who had been one of his closest friends and quite literally his lifeline.

Ren suddenly had a stroke of genius.

"Nora, are you using this cereal box anymore?"

"Nah. Just don't mess up the back, there's that coupon for that DELIGHTFULLY cute sloth plushie that even makes noise!"

"Nora, for the record, I still don't think sloths make a lot of noise."

Ren ripped off the cover of the box neatly, hanging the cover with Pyrrha's image on a hook on the door.

"Ren," Jaune began. "I didn't know you taught 'Home Decorations for Stalkers 101.'"

Ren stared back blankly.

"Right… Sorry Ren…"

"It's ok. But like all things, you need practice. Just show me what you can do and me and Nora will offer you feedback."

"But what if-"

"Hey. Trust Ren. Trust me. We've got your back." Nora stepped beside Ren, grinning encouragingly.

"Jaune," said Ren, in a mock scholarly air, "I'm confident that practice is as important as one's talent." He raised a finger to mark his point.

"I believe this applies for telling Pyrrha as well."

Ren moved closer to the door, and pointed at the picture of Pyrrha he had placed there. He gestured towards it.

"So, I prepared her. Show us what you can do."

"Thanks. I'll do it."

Jaune squared his shoulders and took a deep breath, and looked over to Ren with a wistful smile.. After a second, he looked back to the picture. Those friendly green eyes stared back at him, beckoning.

He stared at the picture, thinking, taking deep breaths, and blushing harder and harder with each passing moment. He willed himself to speak, to think, to overcome the negative voice in his head. "Think Arc, think!" He balled his hands into fists as he struggled to find his words, while Ren looked on calmly, and Nora trembled with excitement.

After several minutes of deep thought, Jaune scrunched up his eyes tight, clearly nervous, but finally with the strength and words to convey his message. He knew what to say, he knew what he wanted to accomplish. He knew Ren and Nora would be gladly listening to every word and trying their hardest to help.

But what Jaune Arc didn't know was that the door which he faced was slowly being opened.

Completely oblivious to Ren and Nora's look of complete shock and horror, he began to speak.

"Pyrrha, you're beautiful, and kind… and the strongest of us… and…"

He sighed, clearly nervous. But at this point, a note of conviction crept into his voice.

"A-and I'm proud to be your teammate and such a close friend…"

"But… It's not enough…I-I guess I want something more…more something about our r-relationship… I… I-"

At this point, his nervousness got the best of him. Jaune balled up his hands and scrunched up his eyes even tighter.

"I LOVE YOU!" Jaune blurted suddenly.

"WILL YOU BE MY GIRLFRIEND?"

A moment passed, and Jaune looked up, opening his eyes and looking at the picture of Pyrrha.

It wasn't the calm green set of eyes of the cereal box image that stared back at him.

Instead, those eyes were wide open with surprise, and very, very much alive.

Pyrrha Nikos stood in the doorway, a very shocked expression on her face. Green eyes met blue, and an expression of surprise met a look of horror as the room fell completely silent.

Ren simply stood with an expression of uncharacteristic horror while Nora frothed silently with anticipation.

Jaune and Pyrrha simply stared, the latter going as red as her hair.

Until someone broke the silence.

"Yes," stammered a voice from the door.

It was Pyrrha.

Jaune and Pyrrha remained standing there, open mouthed and somewhat shellshocked, as Nora yelped with delight and thrust a victorious fist in the air.

"It's celebration time!" Nora crowed, as she dragged the shell-shocked couple towards the kitchen.

"Congratulations," Ren called after them as they disappeared into the kitchen. He smiled again as Nora bounded back into the room.

"Good job Renny! I knew you could do it!" She wrapped her arms around him in a tight hug, then let go of him and skipped merrily back into the kitchen, not before first booping him playfully on the nose. Ren turned to follow her into the kitchen, smiling even more widely.

Until Nora shouted back unexpectedly.

"REEEEEEEN! COME ON, IT'S TIME FOR THE CELEBRATORY PANCAKES!"

The smile on his face quickly faded.

"But we've had pancakes for the last five days…."

* * *

 _Whoo. That was an adventure. This is actually my first fanfic, so reviews and such are greatly appreciated. Thank you for reading_!

 _i-Pie_


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